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The Magician

It’s been a while since we’ve been here… In this… space.

I love you… and you need to remember that.

We’ve had many adventures together. Always a little unsure of what was in front of us. Always being blessed with amazing people and experiences.

Not quite sure of who we were, but always sure of who we would become.

This journey isn’t over quite yet — the lessons that we learned as children are still being applied today.

The energy in the wind, the trees that were our guardians. All of this was real… All of this IS real.

How is it real, I ask? Because this is our story, unfolding. We are the hero, on the hero’s journey. This is all just a story unfolding, in our minds.

How it ends is solely up to… Us.

Don’t be afraid of the words that you say, for they may be gold for another on the way.
Why keep these things all locked up inside? It’s time for the little boy to go for a ride.

We are the Magician, the Wizard, the Master of our own destiny. What do we want to create today? Some candy? Some love? A little joy from above?

Dance to a tune, sing to a beat. Find something special about everyone you meet.

Cheesy and cliche is all this can be. What else do you expect? It’s coming from… Me.

Living Clutch

“How much I missed, simply because I was afraid of missing it.”
― Paulo Coelho

I think one of the traits of being a clutch player is to be able to see the hills and valleys in life, to feel the tempo of the given circumstance and to take that information and act accordingly.

I am lucky to have a bit of clairvoyance and a keen sense of intuition. I do extremely well in life when I listen to it and I do horribly when I don’t. Removing my mind and ego from the equation seems to work out perfectly in most circumstances. My need for security and stability definitely get in the way, but I have learned to negotiate with this other side of existence.

I can feel a new transition coming up for 2013 and I am already getting “glimpses” of guidance for where to take things in life. A few of these ideas are a bit uncomfortable but completely neccessary.

It’s time to turn up the heat and get ready for another fast paced phase of life.

Love will take you…

This trip is quickly coming to an end. Everyday has seemed to prove that there is always a new adventure when you put yourself out there.

I’ve never been in a place in my life where I feel more comfortable among a group of people and the hustle and bustle versus locking myself away in my office.

I don’t know how effective I am in this environment, but I definitely know that my stress levels have been reduced immensely. I can also say that my quality of life is much better than before.

So here I am… No car, no house, nothing of status and I am humbled to the point of a new self realization and with that I am creating new friendships around every corner.

Am I productive? Not really. Can that be changed? Yes… Eventually, after the newness wears off — or maybe it’s not supposed to wear off during this period in life.

I think that’s how I have to start looking at this next phase. We will call this “Operation: Condor”… a time to rejuvinate, to reconnect and to reinvent.

There is a great quote from a song… “Love will take you…”

I think this will be the new anthem for Operation: Condor… What do you think?

Nothing is More Gentle Than Nature

Nothing is More Gentle Than Nature

A book called to me this morning. It was a book that has had an everlasting affect on my life. It was the book that opened my mind, body and spirit to all that is.

The book was “Conversations with God”…

This was the first “new age” book that I had read and it was the first piece of literature that confirmed my beliefs about thoughts and theories beyond the confines of organized religion. It confirmed my experiences working with energy and being connected to nature.

I was and am still very grateful for this book and I feel that anyone who hasn’t read it should give it a try.

As I read the pages it brought me back to the time when I first picked up this book. That time in my life isn’t much different than where I am now.

I was stuck in Utah waiting for some event to come to a head. I was alone and miserable and I felt soffocated and trapped. My inspiration was dead and each day passed by with a crawl.

It was basically a winter phase in my life.
Just as I am now, experiencing winter.

This brings me to the next piece of the puzzle during these particular phases of my life. There was always a being who assisted me through these times. She is well aware of who she is and I am very grateful for the experiences we have shared together.

I do feel it is my duty to create some closure and clarification…

People come in and out of our lives. Some relationships are romantic, some relationships are platonic and some relationships are filled with karmic lessons.

I feel that our relationship has been on going for many lifetimes. I am sure we end up crossing paths at least once or twice during each pass through this experience.

I have several of these relationships intertwined in my life and these specific people know me better than I know myself. These people also know me at a much deeper level than any of my lovers and partners will ever experience.

From my experience the one cannot be the other. I don’t know if it is some universal law… or I just haven’t found the person who bridges the gap between these two realms.

What I am getting at is that we get to cherish and acknowledge each relationship for what it is and stop wasting valuable energy trying to create something that isn’t meant to be.

You played a very valuable role in the development of me. And I feel I played very valuable role in the development of you.

We have filled our karmic debt and made things whole.

*** EDIT ***

Jesus Christ… Could I have been more vague? I re-read this and realized that the description above fits any number of women in my life. No wonder I keep getting ghosts of the past re-entering my life. I sub consciously throw bones out into the wild.

To clarify, the person that I was referring to introduced me to the book mentioned above… done and done. Thank you for reading.


Everything Not

Everything Not

You are not…
The mother never had
or the mother meant to be.

You are not…
My safest place
where I go to rest.

You are not…
The light
in the dark.

You are not…
The one
for me.

Family Traditions

This morning I woke up with a great sense of duty. My family may be small and my root may be scattered, but our traditions will still be carried on.

The energy of my ancestors is very strong this Thanksgiving morning. I can feel the warmth and tenderness of my grandparents around every corner.

I am the last in my family who can pass on the legacy, I am the eldest son and it is my duty to continue the tradition. I look forward to the day when I have a house and family that is my own.

Father, Grandfather… these are all experiences that lie on the path before me.

I will break the chain of my past and rebuild a solid foundation. I will pass on my family history and the legacy that surrounds it.

For now we will create love, warmth and support for those who are around us.

- Happy Thanksgiving 2012

Through the Fog

I made a terrible mistake and watched a Drunvalo Melchizedek interview right before going to bed. My head was filled with thoughts and theories that we are all going to either ascend or vaporize within the next six months.

I must admit that there is definitely something intense going on with the energy on the planet right now, but I don’t think we are going to vaporize and disappear. This brought me to an entirely different thought process:

What if we ARE going go vaporize?!?! There are so many things that have been left undone. I have so many things on my list that I haven’t accomplished. So many places left unseen. So many experiences left unexperienced.

I do know that what I am personally going through right now has been extremely difficult and extremely intense. The only thing that seems to bring me peace is meditation, exercise (more specifically anything cardio based) and listening to music.

I’ve been extremely distracted and unable to concentrate on anything based on industry, capitalism or finances.

I have been getting a great deal of pressure and guidance from the universe to dive back into what truly makes me happy. Anything related to art, music and film have all been my main focus. Unfortunately I can’t seem to concentrate on anything for longer than 30 to 45 minutes.

There are a multitude of things that I have missed and completely removed from my thought process over the last six months. I no longer think about finding a wife, getting married and raising a family. I don’t think about my 401k, my retirement plan or my future. I almost feel like all rigid formal structures are becoming less important.

I am usually able to feel and see into the future over the course of the next three to five years. For some reason I am unable to see anything past mid 2013. I am hoping that this is just a fog of energy that has engulfed the planet and it will soon pass.

Hopefully this is just an end of a phase, followed by a much more conscious and vibrant time for mankind. I have seen glimpses of a much more integrated existence with us and mother earth. Buildings, transportation and our overall existence was much more intertwined with the natural flow of all that is.

I personally still like this place. I still have things that I want to accomplish and experience. If that means that I need to pick up a shovel and start shoveling, so be it.

If we want to keep this place we have to fight for it. If we value this existence it is time to be accountable and to start making choices that are in the best interest of everyone involved. It is time to drop all of the personal chaos and drama and to start becoming outward focused.

Our nation as whole is fretting over concerns that have no impact on our existence. It’s like we are trying to repair a table while the rest of the house is collapsing all around us.

There is a much bigger picture and we are much more powerful than we give ourselves credit for. We have the ability to change the direction of many things: Of this country, of this planet and of the Universe.

Reversing the Flow…

I have always been taught to bring down the light through your crown chakra and let it charge each of your chakras all the way down to the root.

As I was going for a jog in the rain I experienced a rather ground breaking “download”… Why not channel the energy up from Mother Earth through your Root Chakra and up through your Crown Chakra? Filling the Universe with the essence of your being?

I’ve started doing this lately and the results have been tremendous, I can actually feel and see the energy travel out into the ether, contributing my own personal love and light to the Universe.

I am past the point of requiring energy for healing and cleansing — I AM strong enough to act as a contributor to the energy field that surrounds us.

At this point I can officially say that I have been fully “activated”. This truly is an amazing journey!

Connecting the dots… With a LifeMap!

We create the dots…
And then live the lines…

As I started writing my life map I began to realize that this was a “bucket list” in a sense. Maybe not
for my entire life, but for a phase of my life. I like that concept… a bucket list for specific phases of my
life. This is a fairly comprehensive list, but at the same time I don’t think it’s overwhelming. Some of the
goals are long term and repetitive while others are one time short bursts of energy.

I am going to start a project in relation to this concept. We will call it the progressive life map. I will
begin with a fairly large sized canvas. I will put two dots on the canvas. The first dot is me, where I am
at this very moment. The second dot will be that of my most lofty and long term goal.

Now we can take a look at our short term bucket list and get an idea of time frame that we are looking
at for all of these goals. I look at this list and the initial age that comes to me is 35, but then my
keyboard just automagically adjusted the number to 32. That doesn’t give me a lot of time. Does it
mean the end of 32? Maybe during the year of 32? That time frame feels fairly solid.

It’s time for a visual life map. On my map would be the following…

- I’d like to become a well known filmmaker.
- I’d like to learn to swim.
- I’d like to learn to scuba dive.
- I’d like to learn to rock climb.
- I’d like to learn Aikido.
- I’d like to write my own short film.

The map is already starting to create itself. Let’s keep going…

- I’d like to brew my own coffee at home.
- I’d like to continue eating food at home and eventually end going out to eat.
- I’d like to hang the picture in my living room.
- I’d like to find art for my main bathroom.
- I’d like to hang the other pieces of art that I have printed.
- I’d like to compose several trance style songs.
- I’d like to form a team for film making.
- I’d like to perform stand up comedy.
- I’d like to perform music live in front of an audience.
- I’d like to learn to sail.
- I’d like to see Prague.
- I’d like to see Austria.
- I’d like to see Ibiza and party like an animal.
- I’d like to communicate with Dolphins.
- I’d like to run for office.

As you can see this list ranges from the simple task of hanging a picture in my living room to complete and utter world domination! =) Be open to expanding your possibilities and living the life that you have always wanted to create.

I will keep updating this post with pictures of my progressive life map.

Back to the Basics

I’ve come to the realization that for the next phase of my life I no longer want to slave away for the next big cash crop. This life style that I have been living for the last three years has done nothing but create stress, disconnect and rigidity in my way of life.

I want to continue to reduce my energetic footprint on this plane. I’d love to travel abroad with my lightly packed travel bag and my box of gear and shoot random topics. Continue developing my skills as a photographer, filmmaker and writer. Wake up early in the mornings, eat a light breakfast and watch the sun rise.

The question of survival and resources always comes into play, but I think I can “creatively” and “lightly” generate enough abundance to experience just about anything that I want.

I guess I’m formally saying goodbye to the dream of having four homes spread across the globe, the high performance sports cars and raging coke parties. Ehhhh — that was really never my schtick anyway.

Here’s to evolution, expansion and growth.

Onward and upward!